Mumbo jumbo
by eldaran
Summary: some swearing... this is what happens when im bored...


Disclaimer: none of the characters or anything in this story belongs to me... except for the fairy wand, the glitter and Briskit, my cat...  
  
Mumbo-jumbo  
  
Charles Francis Xavier, founder of the X-men, stood at the entrance to the school, well, not really stood, sat in his turbo-engine, Holden Commodore VT wheelchair, looking across the street to a bunch of kids playing in the playground.  
  
*If only... * he thought, smiling, his soft eyes saddening a little.  
  
~~~~  
  
"Hi sugah." Rogue smiled to Jean Grey as she entered the room.  
  
"Ah, hello dear. Are you ready to practise?" Jean asked her.  
  
Rogue nodded, shedding her jacket and throwing it onto a chair nearby. They both entered the Danger Room quietly and began.  
  
~~~~  
  
Miles across town, in a small New York apartment sat Peter Parker, aka Spiderman, working furiously at his computer when suddenly it shut down, losing his latest article for the Daily Bungle.  
  
"Shit!" he cried, kicking the computer, "I'll never get the article finished in time now!" Peter glanced to his watch nervously and groaned, only an hour before it had to be ready to print, "I wish I had abilities better than my spider sense and walking-on-walls..."  
  
~~~~  
  
"I'm having dinner with Scott tonight, he's taking me out for our anniversary." Jean said to Rogue as they left the Danger Room.  
  
Rogue just smiled and nodded, thinking, *Lucky you sugah, wha' can't ah 'ave love like yours, all 'appy 'appy joy joy?!*  
  
~~~~  
  
Wolverine (the hunka-hunka-burnin'-love) sat in a small dingy pub, drinking slowly and watching all the couples walk in and out arm in arm. He turned to Gambit, nudging him in the side.  
  
"Hey kiddo, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Wolvie asked.  
  
"I think I am B2..." Gambit smiled.  
  
Wolverine shot him a deathly glance and shook his head, "I meant 'bout all these couples..."  
  
"Oh, yeah, maybe Gambit should make an announcement so dey don't tink dat we're homosexual, not dat dere's anyting wrong with dat of course..." Gambit suggested.  
  
Wolverine groaned and thought, *Stupid boy... It'd be nice to be able to stay in a relationship just once, for more than a few days...*  
  
~~~~  
  
It was well after midnight before all our superheroes fell into a deep sleep (even though the lovely and innocent writer had to bash Wolvie into a partial sleep because she got sick of waiting for him...) and she fell into the world of comicland with her cat Briskit and her fairy wand, waving it over each of our superheroes, pink sparkles leaving it and falling gently.  
  
~~~~  
  
Early the next morning, Wolverine awoke with one hell of a headache and sat up, brushing the pink glitter from his sheets.  
  
*How'd that get there?* he wondered, shrugging and lifting himself from the bed.  
  
~~~~  
  
Spiderman stood at the door of the mansion, afraid to knock incase one of those flying lightning bolts hit something again. He pushed his way in, looking around and hoping he went the right way, walked towards a small office.  
  
Inside the office sat Xavier, looking very strange. As Spiderman entered, a paper plane hit him in the side of the head.  
  
"Ha! Ha!" Xavier smiled, throwing another.  
  
"I'm sorry Spidey, Xavier seems to be feeling ill today, can I help you?" Jean asked, tears streaming down her face.  
  
"Um, yeah... I got a real power..." Spiderman said.  
  
Jean started to cry...  
  
"What is it?" Jean asked, crying more violently.  
  
"Some sort of lightning bolt comes from my hands every time they hit something." Spiderman said.  
  
Jean was quiet for a moment and then she replied, "I've called for the arsehole to look after you..." as she tried to strap Xavier to his chair.  
  
"The arsehole?" Spiderman asked.  
  
"Yeah, Scott Summers? My ex-fiance... bastard decided it was off this morning, no warning no nothing!" Jean cried, "And on top of that... he wants to be friends!!!"  
  
A small tap on the shoulder turned Spiderman to face Scott (aka Cyclops).  
  
"Come with me Peter..." Scott said, not looking to the crying Jean.  
  
As they exited, they could hear Xavier cry, "I don' wanna!!! I don' wanna!!!"  
  
~~~~  
  
Rogue sat on her bed. She felt a little weird this morning, like something had changed. A look in the mirror had dismissed the worst. Gambit was rushing around the room mumbling something about being late for something or other when he bumped into her.  
  
"Oh, sorry chere..." Gambit said, rushing around again.  
  
"Sugah... ya jus' touched me, righ'?" Rogue said confused.  
  
"Ya, so.... OH!" Gambit said, stopping in mid-rush and turning to Rogue, taking her hands.  
  
"Ah think ah'm gona cry!" Rogue cried, kissing him softly.  
  
"Ya are cryin' chere..." Gambit noted.  
  
~~~~  
  
So all the superheroes got their wishes...  
  
What's that Briskit?  
  
Oh... Wolverine and Jean?  
  
Ok, reality check here... do you really think that Jean and Scott would last forever? And Wolverine? In a serious relationship? I'm not a freakin' magician, just a silly fanfic writer!!! I can't do everything!!!  
  
That's ok Briskit, you weren't to know... you are only a cat... *pauses* a beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous cat of course... *hopeful grin*  
  
No Briskit, not the arm... Briskit, good kitty... nice Briskit, nice kitty... not my face... not my face...   
  
help?  
  
STATIC MALE VOICE OVER We regret to inform you, the viewer, that the following scene is too violent to be shown, please wait a moment so that we may tranquillise Briskit the cat in hope that our writer is saved to write another day. STATIC  



End file.
